Zelda - reflecting and grieving

[Zelda09]

Thanks Gg, what do you mean the abuser was you?

I keep reading my lists but I feel myself sliding back into thinking how miserable H must have been - he saw himself as emotionally needy and me unable to be there for him. Was it genuine or a manipulation?

I wonder - did he hate me or just fall out of love with me? Abusers try to control to the end, don't they? H has no interest in pursuit of me so I am left feeling sometimes like he was simply an unbalanced man, suffering and disappointed in our M.

Is there any reason to sit back after I get my QC and see what time will do, or should I push him for dissolution too? Is there any reason to hope? I feel I must have been the controlling one, to have such a hard time with letting him go and accepting he's just not into me.

I want to tell him so many things in a letter. Why he needs to be the one to file. That can also wait.