For me it was because I believed I was deeply flawed and broken, and I had her on a pedestal. And we had a codependent R where I used her approval and love for a long time to reassure myself that I wasn't all terrible. Like "as long as this good woman can love me I must not be beyond redemption".
This is pretty spot on. If I had anything to add that the overwhelming feeling of being unwanted has paralysed me from action. The crumbs of affection to keep me on the hook have made it possible to believe that maybe there has been hope for our marriage and that maybe I am not completely unlovable. I am finally starting to see things a little different thanks to you guys.
