Thank you for the posts! I have added both of you to my watched users...
I, like you, BW911 do not want this divorce at all. I literally remember hubby coming back from the last trip in CA where he watched his ex-girlfriend and his first wayward relationship in our marriage get married. He said as he sat there watching them take his vows he knew he couldn't follow through on the divorce as he intended to do when he returned.
And depress, thank you as well. I am feeling like an island and finding people who are experiencing what I am is great.
I keep telling myself that it isn't over until the fat lady sings. Maybe if I say it enough I will start to believe it. The reality is though that I am going to keep acting as if everything is hunky dory and keep up with the improvements in my life.
I bought a bowflex max trainer m5, but the darn thing is on back order and I may not get it until May or even June... I'm taking out my frustrations in the form of exercise instead of food.
Didn't sleep well at all last night and was up early this am. Husband is dropping off our son before he heads to work and then is picking him up and my daughter.
So here is the rest of the story as they say. I have fought for custody of my daughter for years. And her father is a real piece of work. My daughter came back from her last visitation and he had solicited her for sex. So, I am fighting to keep my daughter 16 away from her real father. Have court for that the 22nd.
I found out my husband was buying pain meds in October. By November, we both went to the doctor and the doctor wrote out how to come off the oxy without killing himself. I now know that he didn't because I was watching his phone etc and found out his dealer and have copies of text messages. My favorite from a few weeks ago. Tweaked my back unloading the dishwasher and stove on my own, need pills will pay any price.
Our separation began because of the increased arguing and mainly the fight that scared me. I really did think he was going to hurt me.
Then as I was completing our taxes, I received a form from our investment company saying we had a $12,000 loss TD Ameritrade, we sometimes dabble in the stock market. Upon investigation, he had been buying penny pot stocks which I knew about but had no idea of the gambling habit. He had pissed out the window $16,500!!! A $12,000 plus loss and about $4,500 in trade fees!!!!!!!
He started going to the doctor about his back. MRI shows a slipped disk so he is truly in pain. He was supposed to have a nerve test the other day but moved it and went and filed for divorce instead.
I have stellar insurance and if something is really wrong with his back, I carry Aflac and my insurance would cover 100% of treatments after an initial 1500$. Financially it is in his best interest to find out what is going on with his back and address it before divorcing but that is the logical and I'm pretty sure he isn't thinking logically.
Then there is the pain pills... I believe he is still buying them. And I have no idea how many he is up to. His brother went to rehab a few years ago for the same exact pills he is buying and taking.
And he has always been a functioning alcoholic. But that I knew coming into the marriage and it doesn't seem to bother me as much as the rest. He always buys at least three tall beers a night to drink and on the weekends a 12 pack plus a night gets drank.
Maybe between the arguments that were turning violent, the pills, the squandering of money, and the alcohol, I shouldn't want him back. But I remember those first couple years of our marriage before the first emotional affair and they were great. I remember camping, kayaking, canning, bike riding, barbecues with friends, date nights, and fantastic getaways and vacations. And that is what I would like to get back to. And so that is what I am aiming for. I'm going to rediscover my friends. I'm going to lose this weight so I can do all those fun things again even if they are by myself or with my kids.
