Depress, I'm so sorry you are in such pain right now. This is one of the hardest things that can happen to anyone. But I'm going to offer some tough love okay?

The important thing to remember - and this really is crucial - is that your own health and your relationship with yourself are more important than your relationship with your H.

Reading your threads, and your state of mind at the moment, I'm concerned that you're focusing entirely on reconciliation as the answer to your current distress.

But actually, you have some work to do first. And the work that you need to do is that which gets you to a steadier and happier place within yourself, regardless of what your H is doing. Now is the time to start pulling yourself up painfully by the bootstraps and seeking help and support to improve your own health and resilience.

MWD talks about us turning into 'blobs' of despair and unhappiness, and this is what you sound like right now. I'm so sorry if this sounds unkind - I don't intend that. But it isn't going to attract your H back IHMO.

So, let's put your H to one side and see your plans for getting yourself to a better place, despite the current situation. Let's see some action from you as well as the prayers. Changing your poster name might be a good start BTW.....

(((Depress)))

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus