Nervous seeing my name under your thread? I'm sorry if I was too blunt last time. I am really hoping to help you get unstuck from where you are. It's my style not to mince words, but I have the best intentions.
Originally Posted By: claire7
Here's something I don't quite know what to do with-- I read MWD's FB page and tweets. They make so much sense to ME, but of course I'm not the one who needs to hear it right now. But there is no way for me to get STBX to pay attention to what she says, much less for him to believe what she believes. So, it's both hopeful and frustrating to read her words/watch her videos. Does that make sense?
It's not that your H is stupid or stubborn: if he sent you quotes and articles and books on how to be happy after D, you'd be just as closed off and probably offended. How about this: "D is like being born again; a second chance to grow and become your own person" Did it feel good? Well, he feels the same about "D is not the solution" kind of quotes. Emotionally, he's not open to any of this and none of these quotes would seem very insightful to him.
So, what to do with them... How about not reading them? Why do you still go read the tweets and posts of MWD? How do they help you almost 1.5 year after BD? Is it something about DBing that you want to understand better? Or are you going there to get some of that hope that might be toxic to you at this stage? I'm afraid that it's only keeping you stuck in the past because it's constantly confirming your way of thinking and making your H the bad guy for not getting it.
I cut off my WW on social media because it was dragging me down. It was hard and it took me months to do it (chronicled here). Maybe for you it's cutting out stuff that confirms your views about D. You know you didn't want it and you know you can't change it unilaterally. You know that you need to detach, for your own good and for a potential R even.
Originally Posted By: claire7
Looking forward to a few days off- going away with some girlfriends next weekend woo hoo!
Yay! Tell us more about your GAL. What are you doing that you really love. Guilty pleasures, rediscoveries, permissions, etc. You might want to check the 2-3 posts I wrote to stacey9, starting here.
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
I'm sorry if I was too blunt last time. I am really hoping to help you get unstuck from where you are. It's my style not to mince words, but I have the best intentions.