Thanks L. I am similar in many ways, different in many others.
As for depression...I have struggled as well.
One thing I found out, though, is that it was worse in my M. And after a lot of reflection I realized that I used it as a form of CONTROL.
I counted on my W to make me happy. When she didn't do the things I wanted her to (attention, sex, whatever), I allowed myself to get "depressed" in an attempt to get her to change her behavior and give me what I wanted.
It was sneaky, because there was some truth to the fact that if I was neglected/rejected I felt very down. But what I discovered is that mysteriously, once I was on my own I was coping better. Yes, I still got dark, but I knew there was no one around to give a rats behind, so rather than sulk and wait to be rescued, I picked myself back up.
I'm not pinning this on you, just making conversation. Does any of this sound familiar?
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
