What I've seen play out for myself and for a few others is as follows:

-LBS clings to R and gets whipped by the roller coaster ride causing a lot of suffering.

-LBS eventually gets tired of the beatings and gets mad at WAS for doing all of that to them.

-LBS gets tired of being emotionally involved in ANY way with WAS and just doesn't want to dance anymore.

That isn't the end of the ride...that just means things settle down enough you can start rebuilding, reflecting, and growing from a personally motivated place (vs. trying to control your WAS back into the M).

Not saying it always works this way. But it can.

I agree. No matter what you did wrong in your M, you don't deserve to put yourself through torture. Take care of yourself, detach, breath. It's the best thing you can do.

Me:38 XW:38
T:11 years M:8 years
Kids: S14, D11, D7
BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15