Lorelai: My waking life

[Lorelai]

Thanks everyone for responding. Is it always an OW/OP? I'm still not completely sure about an OW, but I know I have been deceived somehow. I can just feel it. Last spring after BD H took my oldest on a playdate with her and didn't tell me and when I said it made me uncomfortable, he did it again a couple months later with both kids. They actually went to a beach. While this does sound suspicious, I don't think anything physical is going on. But I've done a lot of non-DB behavior in the weeks I haven't been posting, including calling this woman back in January to flat out ask her if anything was going on and was very polite. I didn't get to say exactly what I wanted to say but I did let her know H and I were separated and she seemed surprised and said she had no idea. OK, I thought, so maybe he HASN'T been confiding in her and this is all in my head. Crazy Lorelai! Then I told her he had taken the kids on playdates with her and had kept it from me and I found out later and that it made me uncomfortable. She said something like "Oh, well I adore your D4!" I remained polite and said "She likes you too and thanks for always being so good to her" and ended the call.

But-- after that conversation, if she wasn't up to no good (did I just use a double negative there?) why would she recently meet H at the mall on a Saturday when he had the kids. I don't know. This whole situation is confusing to me. Honestly, I think they're just working and they're both obsessed with their jobs. H is online ALL THE TIME with work. If we ever reconciled, I would want my old H back, not this zombie guy staring at a computer screen 24/7. We used to know people like this and H would make fun of them. He's had a complete personality change.

...This is why I cry so hard sometimes. Last night I could actually feel my tears were from grief—grief over the man he used to be, who seems dead now. I miss that guy.