Guide for LBH who has a Wayward Wife

[Zues126]

Sandi- getting back to you on why guys are afraid of their WWs...

For me it was because I believed I was deeply flawed and broken, and I had her on a pedestal. And we had a codependent R where I used her approval and love for a long time to reassure myself that I wasn't all terrible. Like "as long as this good woman can love me I must not be beyond redemption".

So when she would be critical, judgmental, or disapproving of me it had the opposite effect. I felt that it proved I was a horrible guy and I suffered a LOT. Then, after a long time, I'd grow resentful for HER MAKING ME feel that way. And I'd start to realize that I'm not all terrible, she shouldn't treat me this way. But I wasn't able to work this through maturely, so I'd let my resentment build and I'd withdraw so I wasn't exposed to more of her hostility.

I guess when you rely on someone else for your self esteem it hurts when they condemn you.