@toots thank you. My PMA is helping me- I think I have better days now. Keeping myself v busy GALing. Lots of plans! I'm definitely trying to find my attractiveness for me. I have never really seen it myself, but always been told by others. What I'm working on now is accepting compliments and taking them onboard rather than say "no I'm not" when someone pays me one (this has also been a complaint of H's). Funny you should mention that, my therapist yesterday confirmed my beliefs that he is feeling lack of attention/jealous since baby came. She recommended a book called "baby shock" so I'm going to have a read into this.
@sandi2, thanks again for the advise. I Love that you are here to give us insight from the other side- really helps, thanks. Yesterday I needed something urgently picking up that I couldn't get and was by his work, so was sort or urgent. But I get you- I must admit I slipped up and messaged today and asked if he was finishing late. After I sent it I thought why have I done that. Rather than beat myself up (which I sort of am) I need to just put it down to mistake and not do it again. And that is exactly what I should be thinking- I'll be saying that over in my head when Im in a room with him! I think although I'm feeling more positive, I do think my emotions are getting the better of me in some respects. I need to try push him out of my head a bit more.
Just to journal, we've been out GALing today. Sorting babies passport. Was a nice sunny day so had a nice walk. H wasn't home by the time it came to our usual eating time. So ate, and put baby to bed. The evenings do become a bit of a lonely existence. When baby goes to sleep- it's real quiet and quite lonely. I try find things to do. FaceTime my younger sister who's away at college.. Or catch up with a bit of tv shows. I'm contemplating learning a language, I'm already part fluent in Spanish- and one of my relatives down the line was Spanish so it's in the blood. I might find a way to teach myself
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
