Part 17 - Edz, living in interesting times

[edz]

Mmmm somedays I think has anything moved on since all this began. Just been posting in 1976Ts thread and mentioning about looking at old posts so went back and read my first, meandering, post.

Wow, was I lost, delusional puppydog.

That was a month and a bit after w left and I was quite convinced of w's motivations and ideas, what she was thinking and why and that I was undoubtedly the only wounded party. Ha, well thats the gift of time for you isnt it? I was convinced I wouldnt see son, the world was cold and empty (although its pretty brassic here right now!) and w had made it clear she didnt see anything in the way of a future.

I note I didnt have a grip on my depressions role in the whole thing either, or the co-dependency. Wow.

However I have to admit this makes me feel quite good about today which otherwise was a rather non eventful, wet grey one.

OK we're not reconciled but weve reached a stage where w doesnt count us out and clearly see's the better me now after she herself said to me the other week she was thinking she'd have cheerfully never seen or heard from me ever again in that meeting I describe in the first posting, I still feel lonely BUT I recognise why all this *had* to happen now it'll either end up with a stronger marriage with w or at the very least a better me with a grip on himself (steady you lot) this is all in the addition to my relationship with my son which (despite my protestations in that first post) was woefully bad for a very long time as he became my competitor for w's time and affections. So yes, quite a positive change if not the finished article.

Just a quick retrospective moment there.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programme...