When things were good, prior to the kids, what did your R look like? From what you say above it seems you felt you did everything and she did nothing. Did you resent that?
A baby is a big change and often the H feels neglected when the W is giving almost all their attention to the baby. I would bet money your W also felt overwhelmed and neglected though. There are two sides to every story. What were your W's complaints about you? How have you changed since the good days?
Originally Posted By: Pyrite
I dropped all sorts of hints, notes, suggestions etc about how our relationship needed to be taken care of.
Can you give some examples of what you said or did? Do you think your W perceived these actions as you intended? I ask because I can remember as a new mother being angry when my H made suggestions. I took it as "here's one more person wanting something from me. Telling me I'm not doing enough." His intent was to tell me his needs weren't being met. My perception was that he was selfish didn't care about my needs. Just something to consider
As the LBS, we all have a tendency to focus on what the WAS did wrong and shine a light on all their faults. That doesn't help you. You can't change them. Use this time to figure out what you contributed to the breakdown of your M. That is what you can change. No one is perfect. Focus on finding your own happiness. Through your actions your W will see your changes and be intrigued. Eventually she may be attracted back and want to work on the M. No one knows when or if that will happen though. Reading DB/DR will definitely help. I would recommend getting it as soon as you can.
Me: 30 H: 35 M: 5 years S2 Signs of MLC started Feb 2014 BD - PA July 2014 Piecing/reconciling late July 2014
