Maybell, I am having a rough morning. Blaming myself for not being more understanding of chronic pain. Seeing intermittent explosive disorder as more in line with what I experienced, than abuse. Abuse is about control and I don't know that there was such a bone in his body. He seemed content and happy except for when I came at him with criticism.
I know it doesn't excuse what he did and the lack of remorse. Or that he needs to grow up.
But this morning my heart aches and I want him to become strong and independent and knock on my door and say how sorry he is and could we please try again now that he has gone out and found himself.
I am bawling my eyes out. Wtf is wrong with me.
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on
