hold on! - 9

[u-turn]

Thanks V!

My analytical mind does tell me there will be an end to the A (don't know when obviously - and I don't know I will ever be confident that it is a 100% stop) - If that is the case, can I deal with being the safe plan B. It's an ego thing I guess. Will I be always be a plan B? Have I always been a plan B? All of these things I have to work out for myself.

Going back to past intel - she has admitted everything before when I called her out on it (then she says she would stop with him but go back - this is my fault for not being stronger). The latest round she is denying - she says I am paranoid. Admittedly, it is not rock solid evidence, only a trail of receipts and very vague stories with evidence that she wouldn't provide (but said she would). This screams lies to me, but at the moment it is my story and her story.

My way of blowing the gaff would be informing OMW I believe.

I did miss my IC phone call yesterday but it is rescheduled for this morning.

Story: two town police showed up at my house looking for S20 - said he made a call to another county police saying he was suicidal and they were looking for him. I knew nothing about this and haven't talked to s20 in a long time. It was a panicky situation, I tracked him down (S17 had his new phone number and girlfriends phone number). It was a misunderstanding and he made the call for/about his girlfriend. The police went to see her. But the good thing about this is I did reach out to S20, he actually talked to me, and I told him that he can talk to me any time and I love him (he said it first). (I believe W talked to him too, but I don't know about what - she usually blames him and makes him out to be a bad guy). He is going through a lot.

I wish this pain would stop for everyone of us.

Hoping for a good spring day!! (for everyone here too)