Yesterday W asked if I could have the kids on Friday so she could go to work (double time it turns out) because MIL won't have them - she had threw a tantrum because W had let me have the kids overnight on Tuesday. A chance to see my kids meant I agreed...after some deliberation so as not to appear too available.
No doubt at all that MIL not getting her own way would have infuriated her enormously. The plan therefore set out was I was would have them Thursday for tea, Friday from school overnight, all day Saturday, and drop them off Sunday. W was fine with that.
She texted me earlier this morning to say now that MIL hasn't seen the kids all week and so I was to forget having them tonight because MIL was having them for tea instead.
I called her back and she answered pleasantly, asked how I was etc. I said I'd got her message and that this went again what we had agreed. I got the usual 'you can't bully me into doing what you want' routine. I think I did an excellent job of handling things. I pointed out this is why we have agreed on set days. W said do you think it is fair that you have them Thursday evening, Friday, Saturday, and drop them off Sunday? I validated her thoughts whilst at the same time pointed out that everything bar Friday was what we had agreed, and I was having them Friday just to do her a favour because her mum wouldn't have the kids after throwing a tantrum. I said it was unfair to call the day I was having them to say now I'm not. I said I could leave having them Friday now and just stick to what we had originally agreed. She huffed and puffed, came up with some alternative arrangements like I wouldn't have them Saturday instead, to which I said I had planned to take them somewhere, but ultimately she wants the money from Friday's work and so eventually relented and said we would leave things as they are.
Clearly MIL is annoyed I'm having them so much and is now sticking her oar in to try and disrupt things. This is what she does. Very controlling, very manipulative. When I first met my W and we were dating (she was 18 at this point), MIL would lock her in her room, cut her clothes up, smashed up her phone, refused to let W leave the house unless she had done X,Y,Z, wanted actively alcoholic relatives to help move our possessions into our new house, tried to pick our mortgage and house decorations for us, threatened to call social services if we gave the children certain food she didn't approve of, sent W every photo of W she had as a child with an accompanying letter to say she hated being a mother...the list goes on and on. A total crackpot. So that's what I'm up against in aiming for any sort of future reconciliation. Upon first meeting her she returned home drunk from a night out and thought she was investigating me by asking a lot of questions...that didn't make sense! Being the first time I had met her I answered politely but right off the bat she didn't like me.
Anyway, I've gone a little off topic with my rant there. W said finally she wants to spend the full day with the kids on Easter Sunday, with the implication I think being that she now won't want me to go up there and spend time together with the kids. We'll see what happens there but no doubt MIL will step in with some grand plan of something to do on Sunday to exclude me from proceedings.
BD - 30TH JAN 2015 S - 30TH JAN 2015 PA CONFIRMED - 16TH FEB 2015 (SINCE AT LEAST OCT 2014) CONTINUAL TALK OF D ME: 31 W: 28 T: 10yrs M: 4.5yrs D:5, S:6
