Hi Hope414, It's interesting - I never thought I decided to shut off my feelings for my husband, it seemed to happen little by little, as he belittled me, or chose others over me, disregarded my feelings, you know? It's hard not to get the message that I didn't matter... So eventually I guess I did decide that I didn't need/want him. And yes, I guess I was extremely vulnerable. I think my biggest stumbling block is that I know to have a connection I need to be vulnerable and I just can't with him. I don't know if I'll ever be able to let him see my vulnerabilities.
You're still here and you're still in your marriage. You've given your spouse the gift of time.
And you've given yourself the gift of time.
I'm sorry you felt belittled and disregarded by your spouse. It is difficult when people we love forget our hearts are fragile.
We can't speak to your husband's feelings (mind-reading) but you have indicated he is still living with you. And you have indicated he loves you and wants a relationship with you.
This is good.
So can we begin with a goal for you?
Could your goal be: When time has passed you want your marriage to be strong and your family intact?
If you like this goal...How can we help you do this?
If this goal is too large for you...what would be a more manageable goal right now?
