Walk Away Husband

[NLS]

Thanks Sandi2.

I never thought about his as a wayward spouse or even as these emotional affairs being outright affairs regardless of whether they were physical or not. I found this great article after you posted about this particular notion and it was absolutely spot on.

I've been trying to go dark since last Sunday and mostly successful with the exception of contact related only to visitation with the kids and quick question about whether or not we had a burn ban for burning leaves. Not sure if those count, but literally I have made no contact other than 3 text messages since last Sunday.

Now that all the yard work is my realm, I am finding it very therapeutic to keep busy. My yard, my flower gardens, my home, my children, and most importantly me.

I started out shortly after he left by thinking about an affirmation page in my notebook. I have started journaling my thoughts, feelings, etc. and that is definitely helping too. It made it easier to face life without tears in my eyes. Instead of an affirmation page in a notebook, I went on step farther. The fighting and arguing always contained such negative things... Ugly words that no lady should ever hear. So as I searched for an ink pen to write the opposites of every word I heard (and of course can't find one... kids, especially teenagers...), I ran across the permanent markers instead and it struck me. I have a perfectly good wall to add my affirmations to. Of course, the kids were amazed that Mom wrote on the wall but I'm appreciative that they have not started this themselves. I go to bed every night looking at it and I wake up every morning looking at it. This started me on my way to emotional recovery:

Since then, I have started watching what I eat and exercising over and above my new yard duties and I have lost 16 pounds. At first, no so healthy. Barely eating and was so upset nothing stayed down anyway, but now in the last three weeks the healthy way. I am starting to feel better about me but I was still doing all the wrong things to convince him that I was changing when I should have just been doing what I need to GAL... And let him see it for himself.

No plans to file for the Big D or even an LS. Just going to go dark, work it like a wayward spouse issue/walk away spouse issue and live each day with the best outlook that I can.