Alpha One, Alpha All #

[alpha99]

Starksy,

As much as I'm GAL, dealing better with emotions and so on, I do want my marriage to work out of course. I'm confused. I know no snooping is recommended when using LRT but at the same time I thought having some info on A status would be a good idea. Of course I could get along well with her (or not) in forthcoming interactions only to find she runs to OM the second I leave. I can stop checking but how will I know if anything I do is having an affect. Yes, I can do things for myself. Yes, I can try and detach, manage emotions etc. How can I tell if I'm being played for a fool - she may be nice to me for numerous reasons (guilt, childminding, whatever else) - but just cake eating in one form or another.

Maybe I'm asking the impossible. Maybe I just need to accept that since she's had an A, we are separated, she feels the marriage is over and can do/see/screw whoever she likes, and that I should just leave her alone bar child communications and just live my life. To a large extent I am doing that. I know that is to a large part the LRT. I just feel powerless in whether or not it will have any affect. I know, I have no control over her. I feel like my actions may be irrelevant with regard to our marriage. Sure, positive for me as an individual, but even though I'm powerless and not in control I would still like things to work out. Times when I think about the whole thing make me.somewhat frustrated. I guess it's time to distract myself.