Oh goody. I have the chance to get up on a soap box and spew for a minute.
I don't understand why people give a crap about who others love. If the whole point of this existence is love, why do we feel the need to judge how and who others love? It's enough of a struggle for me to keep track of my own issues and people that I love to worry about others.
I've felt that way for as long as I can remember. But when it became clearly imprinted on my brain was when my colleague and former close friend (who is gay) asked me, "Say, Bets. When you were in high school, did you feel guilty about the person you had a crush on in 10th grade?" I said, "No. His name was Nick, and I had a massive crush on him." My friend said, "Well, I did. I had a crush on my best friend who is not gay, and I felt guilty as sin. I tried to have a crush on some girls and it just felt as unnatural as someone who is forced to write with the opposite hand. And then I had society tell me that being gay was an atrocity in God's eyes."
From that day forward, I haven't had to make any points when illustrating that. I didn't wake up in 10th grade and think to myself, "I wonder why I don't have a crush on Mary instead of Nick?" It NEVER entered into my head. My heart knew what my heart knew. End of story.
There are many animal species that are not heterosexual. Do we condemn them? Would they care? And BTW, my former friend is one of the most kindhearted, generous people I've ever met. He'd give the shirt off his back for anyone that needed it. You tell me who is going to come out in the W column at the end.
I'm in charge of my own salvation, and God knows, I have a lot of work to do all by myself. I'm not going to divert myself into someone else's life.
One of my favorite cousins came out years ago. We were so happy we didn't have to pretend otherwise anymore. He's adorable and sweet and way funny. And kind. I'd rather keep him than most straight people I know. And BTW, my aunt said she always knew too, even though there were always girls parading in and out of her house.
Maybe she's been a hot mess because she is just totally confused by all of this? I was a hot mess at 14 without being gay. She may get her crap together because the cat is out of the bag, so to speak. It takes a lot of energy to suppress secrets.
Love her. You always have, and deep down, you also know that she loves who she loves. She should be able to do that unapologetically. I have a soft spot for kids who have to overcome tougher stuff than the average bear. This had to be really hard for her. As my ^^^ friend said to me, "I wish I could be straight - get married to a woman, settle down and give my parents grandchildren they would adore. But that would be deceitful to everyone, especially the poor woman who wants and deserves all of me but could never have that kind of love." I imagine many people feel that way. I have nothing but compassion for people who make being the best them they can be their priority - even when it hurts those they love the most.
And I have a bigger place in my heart for parents like you. Let's catch up - saw you called when I was on a conference call.
Hugs- Me
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
