Raliced - Sextet

[Underdog]

Well, I've read and re-read and came to the same conclusion both times so I guess I'll say what I'm gonna say.

First of all, my MIL passed away in 2004 from a heart attack caused by her emphysema. She was on O2 as long as I knew her. It was an ugly death, she was emaciated, and as far as deaths go (I've seen plenty during my 10 years as a hospice volunteer), this was really hideous. My own parents smoked heavily, and because of that, I do not choose to endorse the filthy habit. I have friends that smoke, and I honor their choices. But I have a smoke free house, smoke free car, and a smoke free work place. I also will not date smokers.

That being said, I would leave him out of it, cease mind reading and just keep your communications open with her. For the past few years, there have been some horrifying PSC commercials out there - the guy with the stoma that talks about shaving difficulties (using the vibrator to talk); the woman Sherrie who was a cheerleader in high school who looked like a barely alive skeleton and ultimately died. Use those commercials as a talking point with your D7. While my D21 is an athlete and despises smoking, those commercials really made an impression on her.

Keep your fight in your own house. Otherwise, it's stepping into the realm of "none of your business". She's your business, and the only thing you can do is educate her if you really and truly think you need to do that.

My sister used to hide my mom's cigarettes all the time. We both hated having our small smoke filled house. Neither one of us EVER wanted to smoke. Yet we did the pantomines as well. We bought those candy cigarettes (WHO thought that was a good idea???) and pretended all the time. It never translated into a desire to migrate to the real thing. Chill.

So in case this isn't clear, I vote for you not to bring this up to him. It seems a little OTT and controlling. Not to mention a wee bit judgmental.