Texted a little back and forth today with STBX about D7 and her soccer camp. He was pretty chatty and gave me a fairly full description of how her offensive vs defensive skills were coming. Probably the longest text I've gotten since BD. Will continue on and see if anything develops.
So I do have an issue that I've been thinking through and I'm not sure entirely how to approach......
I know in an earlier thread, I mentioned that STBX has started chewing tobacco again (D7 relayed this bit of info). My MIL and I discussed it when she was here a few weeks ago and she said "I bet he's smoking again too". Apparently before we met and dated he was a full on smoker....I never knew this (I had the impression that in his youth he smoked at the occasional party). Sorry to offend anyone here, but my grandfather died a miserable death from long cancer after smoking a daily pack of Lucky Strikes for most of his life, and I have strong, negative opinions about that particular habit.
So, much to my horror, last weekend, D7 started to pantomime that she was smoking, including a blissful expression as she inhales and a spot on imitation of the exhale - quite the miniature Bette Davis. She doesn't watch any movies or television where people smoke. There's no parents at any of her extracurricular activities that smoke. So that leaves two possibilities - either she's getting it from the other kids at school (who are hopefully just pretending), or she's seeing it at her Dad's. Remember when I was griping about how they always insist on doing all the girl's laundry with the smelly detergent? Suddenly, that little detail seems more sinister.
Of course - I asked D7 where she had seen people smoke, and went so far as to ask if she had seen her dad smoking and she insisted she had just been watching people do it in cars that drive by. And honestly, she seemed pretty uncomfortable. There was too much detail in her imitation for the car story to check out.
So, I'm not sure how to approach this. This is one area, where I don't remotely care if STBX gets mad should I bring it up- but based on his recent track record, if I ask, I'm pretty sure he would just lie to me.
I was thinking of telling him about D7's pantomime and saying something like "Of course, we don't want D7 to get the idea that there is anything glamorous about smoking - so I just wanted to make sure you were aware so that you could help reinforce the message".
