hold on! - 9

[u-turn]

Thanks so much for your comments Starsky, Vapo, Vanilla.

I do believe that intel is valuable - and I had the intel but stupidly and weakly didn't use it and act on it. Now all of that intel that I collected for so long is just useless painful memories of the entire ordeal.

If I would have "known" how to act originally at BD (way before db), this would all be over in one way or another. If I would have acted when I was kicked again and again with my the intel that I found by "snooping" this would all be over in one way or another.

But now - I have driven this so far underground that I cannot trust anything. But have all of the painful memories and hatred of myself for not acting like and being a man about this.

New intel would be valuable - but again unlikely for me to get unless she makes more mistakes. I am not afraid of the intel - I do not trust her anyway. I have found myself believing that if I am not finding anything, she is just hiding it really well.

I feel that I had the whole db idea completely wrong - and all I heard was give it time, these things burn themselves out. Now I don't know I was not dealing with a WAW - she is/was a devious WW.