Baby steps, patience and uncertainty

[labug]

"little" egos...mine was as big as a house!

Wonka, my opinion is that transition always causes change but the change can be positive or negative. How many people do we know and interact with on a daily basis who fall deeper and deeper into pity party awfulizing? It's all someone else's fault, it'snot fair, bad things always happen to me.

I was one of those people to a degree until I decided that I could be who I wanted to be. In this case, the fault was not in the stars.

I like Pema Chodron's explanation of karma,
"People get into a heavy-duty sin and guilt trip, feeling that if things are going wrong, that means that they did something bad and they are being punished. That's not the idea at all. The idea of karma is that you continually get the teachings that you need to open your heart. To the degree that you didn't understand in the past how to stop protecting your soft spot, how to stop armoring your heart, you're given this gift of teachings in the form of your life, to give you everything you need to open further."
I know I missed transformational change opportunities because I wasn't in a place to move out of my comfort zone, as unhappy as it was.

Luckily I kept getting more chances.

About parenting, there's never an excuse for abuse, physical or verbal. Even when the excuse for hitting is doing it "out of love"

S22's neurologic disorder adds to his confusing picture. It's so difficult to know what's enough and what's too much in light of his abilities/disabilities.

So for now I've decided (yet again) to let it be his problem, which it should be.

Betsey, can't imagine the stress related to a big deal like that wavering. But like most things in life, we have little control. I'm sure you've taken care of what you control. (( ))

Thanks to you both for giving me things to think about.