To add to Cadet's comments, I would urge you to call around MCs in your area and ask them questions. You would want to find a solutions-based MC therapist who is trained in Gottman principles.
Another thing is that you've got to stop looking for the magic bullet to "shake" W out of her fog. DBing is a hard, long slog for it takes a long time to right a battleship that has sustained some damage. The focus should be on YOU. As you said, you didn't like what you saw when you did some introspection.
What were some of the areas that you didn't like? What do you plan to do to address them? How do you plan to confront those problems?
