Not dumb anymore (3)

[Burger]

I should have skipped the special event last night. While it was funny, and great to see D21, I got quite depressed driving home. That was an event WW would have loved. Driving home I was thinking about how I was alone at the event, how the games aren't the same anymore, we had such a good time during the playoff push last year, now this year it's just depressing. No more season tickets, no more fun time. Fun time is over.

I think I cried most of the drive home by myself. I was quite sad, haven't been like that in a while.

Then I start thinking about how she would rather play a video game than spend time with her family. How she has a new boyfriend(s), but she still can still send me an email saying she looks forward to seeing me on the weekends. I'm really beginning to wonder why I would want her back. It's easy to see where I hurt her during the marriage, but there was also a lot of hurt done to me from her behavior during the marriage. It may appear like it was all me and she was perfect, but that's not the case. She just doesn't seem to want to admit that part. What's wrong with me that I want to be with someone who treats me like this?

It will be so much work trying to fix everything that is broken, maybe it would be easier to just give up, fix me, get over her, and move on. I already have a three month head start on getting me better. She hasn't started yet.