Thanks so much you guys. Your support & well wishes make me feel great. Hope- haven't heard from you in awhile. Wow. That post was.... Meaningful! You are right. Absoutley right. And I have referenced that a few times over the past couple of days- when things are tough. Now, that's perspective!
Things are ok. The weather is beautiful. And out plane at home had to be de-iced before we could take off- so weather is a key thing for us now!
Had some tough moments. I have to admit, this is a one foot in front of the other experience. Overall, we are having a good time. But xh's absence is pretty daunting. Xh & I never had vacations growing up. Started out fam young & a not a lot of $. So we worked hard to make that happen for our kids. We wanted them to have experiences we hadn't. So really, not only did xh and I do mostly everything together for the first time, but with our kids too. Yesterday, we were doing something and I just had this thought about how close we all were: and how it is just unbelievable that we are here today- in this different life.
Xh's name has come up several times. "Remember when..." Good things. Good memories. S18 has said things like, oh we don't have to worry about that bc dad's not here... Just recognizing the change in the dynamic. You know the REMIX FAMILY VACATION! Both kids have mentioned that xh is texting them a lot "like every hour" according to d14. Things like, "what are you doing?" "How's the weather?" Maybe he wants a play-by-play? Who knows. I just stfu and keep moving..... And try to keep my stupid brain from going 1,000,000mph.
S18 still does not respond. Still hasn't spoken or responded in a few weeks. He told me his dad tried calling him the day we were leaving. He called from a work phone so s18 didn't recognize & answered. He heard xh's voice and son 18 said, "hello? Hello? Hello?" Pretending a bad connection then hung up.
Hmmm... Xh bought tickets to take s18 to see Kevin heart this month (bday present). S18 asked if he could take the tix and not go w his dad. I just said he needs to talk to his dad about that.
So... I feel very blessed that I am able to be on vacation w my kids. We are enjoying things, eachother, being away. (D14 mentioned to s18 their uncle, xh's bro, is here w their cousins. S18 said not to contact him- he does not want to see anyone in xh bloodine.) yup- he needed to get away too.
Btw--- I have never seen more babies in my life than the past few days. OMG.
