Where to begin?

[Dawgs]

So, another day and another roller coaster. I really do not know how much of this I can take. Its tearing me apart. I feel like I am at a cliff and don't know the way how to stop the fall.

We had a long discussion about our session last night. I tried not to, but I broke some of the 37 rules last night.

Before I go on, let me get ya'lls opinion on our counselor. My wife noticed that he quietly "attacked" me (for lack of better words) and even said to her, "I don't know if this is saveable or not, that is up to you." If a counselor was pro-marriage, he wouldn't say that, would he? My wife seemed to think that he made sense... Is this normal? Or should we seek another?

I am faltering, ya'll. I just feel like I don't have the strength to keep up the fight even though I so desperately want to keep us together. I don't know how to keep going on and am hurting badly. I look in the mirror every day and the first thing I have to say is "I am working on me." Every day. Because that's all I can do.

In our conversation, we talked about both paths. She isn't ready to throw in the towel, but at the same time she said that she is jealous of her sister (the one I had issues with) becasue the sister and her husband are getting a divorce and yet they are good friends.

I just don't know what to do or how to fight for us. Which of the books can ya'll recommend?