Confused & mix messages part 2

[Jefe]

You've got to let go of drawing him back. You've got to love him because it's the right thing to do and not because you're expecting anything in return. You've got to set healthy boundaries and expectations because it's the right thing to do and not because you're worried it may or may not make him mad.

The week or so before my wife came home I had to establish a boundary.

She called wanting me to go to her mom's apartment where she was staying and pick up a piece or 2 of her mom's furniture and store it in our garage because it was making her stay there a little too cramped. I replied that I was sorry but I was not comfortable doing anything that kept her away from the family longer or helped her to dig-in to this separation any further. She replied with a simple "K" by text and I didn't hear from her again for hours. I was certain that it had set us back some, but it had to be done and said.

The reality is, it helped her come home sooner.

Point is, healthy, strong marriages don't find themselves here often if at all. Figure out your part of it and fix it. Not to win him back but because it needs fixing. Ultimately, pulling away and working on yourself will draw them back in but that cannot be your sole reason for doing it.

My wife told me one of the things that drove her completely nuts was that I stopped calling/texting her unless she did first.

Follow the 37 rules as best you can. Copy them and save them into a word document and change the word "spouse" to your husbands name and personalize the rest of the document, then print it out and read it daily until it's second nature. It really does help.

I got to be honest, though, God played a huge role in this for me, but that's my experience.

You're doing good, kiddo. Hang in there.