How would a guy ASK for a BJ? That is assuming that his wife is OK with giving BJ's. Most guys REALLY want BJ's much more often then they get, so how do you get a LD spouse to start giving them? I have not had one in 8 years, since the last one I got was before my last son was born.
Another question, why do many women NOT want to do this, and yet, they LOVE to recieve the same from the hubby.
I've heard women make the joke... "What's the biggest benefit of getting married?"
Answer: "No more BJs".
This is the kind of "college girl talk" that I think programs them in a way similar to hypnosis where you establish a trigger (in this case getting married) to evoke a response (in this case, hating BJs).
Why don't they like them? Here's my guess...correct me if I'm wrong gals....
1. Physically, it requires muscles in the mouth, tongue and (hopefully) hands. It can also evoke gagging and difficulty breathing if you have sinus issues. Unless you've showered in the past 15 minutes, there could be some unappealing body odors and tastes lingering too.
2. Psychologically, I heard women complain that it's 1-way without reciprocal sexual stimulation so it simply feels like "work". There's also the perception of cleanliness and fear of smelling or tasting something undesirable. There might even be some sort of psychological issue with the fact that a woman is basically "gagged" and can't communicate which to them symbolizes "intimacy" and a BJ prevents communication. Also, women might have been exposed to something unappealing during a BJ...think how eating a bad or boney fish makes you nervous the next time you are served one.
But that's just my opinion, I might be blowing it.
Anyway, I think society has done a big mind-f on women from the time they are little girls. I won't elaborate, but IMHO, I just think that peers, parents, religion, and the media completely destroy a woman's ownership of their sexuality with contradicting messages etc. Especially in america where flashing your tits is a sign of being sexual and "wild" and nudity is such a taboo...it's a joke.
Sorry I didn't answer your question about "how to ask"...maybe take a shower, cover it in chocolate, and ask for one. Then, if she says no, I'm sure your dog (no...not hairdog) will oblige.
I love giving head to the wife, and yet there are man odors and bodies fluids involved with it. But it does not bother me. I suspect that most HD guys LOVE giving head. And yet the LD wife HATES giving BJ's now, did not used to though. It seems to be completely unfair to me. She LURED me into marriage with great sex and BJ's and now she is the complete OPPOSITE of what I thought I was getting. I personally thnk it has a lot to do with being HD versus being LD.
But back to the original subject, how would a guy ask for a BJ in a way that is acceptable. Better question yet is WHY should he even have to ask? My wife gets head all the time and NEVER has to ask for it.
CeMar - If you don't get your answer you are looking for here - try going to www.menshealth.com, click on the message center on the left, click on dating life and you might see someone else ask the same or similar question. It's a tough question to ask because there is a 50/50 chance of rejection and rejection sucks!
Quote: Anyway, I think society has done a big mind-f on women from the time they are little girls. I won't elaborate, but IMHO, I just think that peers, parents, religion, and the media completely destroy a woman's ownership of their sexuality with contradicting messages etc. Especially in america where flashing your tits is a sign of being sexual and "wild" and nudity is such a taboo...it's a joke.
Well put Dave36! Unfortunately, I think you're right on the money with that statement. Too many women, myself included, have been programmed to instinctively view sexuality with dirtiness, self gratification, invasiveness, shame, and degradation. Growing up female, you walk a fine line of finding a balance between being a good girl, being a fun girl-next-door, and being perceived as a slut. To top it all off the media shoves the *ideal* woman in our face as gorgeous supermodels, who tend to appear as "good girls" (and BTW it's hard for me to imagine them giving head!), and pornstars, who make alot us feel insecure, degraded and objectified...(who always seem to have a penis in their mouth!)... hopeless! Growing up trying to be the good girl it's rather challenging to find the right balance while feeling good about yourself and keeping your partner happy.
CeMar: I'm sorry for not answering your question (either!)
Quote: But back to the original subject, how would a guy ask for a BJ in a way that is acceptable. Better question yet is WHY should he even have to ask? My wife gets head all the time and NEVER has to ask for it.
I've been pondering this question for a few days and have come up with a few thoughts. First, start off with some compliments and words of appreciation. I'm glad you are my wife, I like being with you, you are great at ..., you smell great, you look wonderful, scrumptious. I value our time together. (stuff like that) Then ask, Right now (or tonight or later or soon) I'd love to have a BJ. Is is something you can do (are up for, can deal with, reasonable)? I'm having a serious craving for that kind of touch. If the answer is yes, you are good to go. If the answer is no or not right now or anything else, ask.. What do you need to be comfortable doing it? What can I do to help get you in the mood? Could you handle a partial, just some sucking? Is there something I can do for you in exchage or is equitable? What stops you from doing it?
All of this needs to be said lovingly without expectation, fear of rejection and personalizing it or cornering her. That it really is ok to say no, but also gets the dialog going on what it would take to become a yes.
As to the should you even have to ask, the answer is yes. Becasue it's something you want, and you cant expect people to read your mind. Most of the time it's not something on my radar, if it isn't reqested it still might not occur to me, even if it's something I know he enjoys and wants regularly. Another thought I had was that while eating her out might seem obvously reciprical corresponding acts, it may not feel that way to the girl. Something totally unrelated may trigger the desire to give BJ.
I will say that there have been a few times I've thoroughly and exceptionally enjoyed giving my H a BJ. However, most of the time I'd prefer to just enjoy H in my mouth, stopping before completion and long before my jaw gets sore. Sometimes I know I can complete the act, most of the time all i'm up for is a little tongue time, and a full BJ isn't something I can do.
Quote: First, start off with some compliments and words of appreciation. I'm glad you are my wife, I like being with you, you are great at ..., you smell great, you look wonderful, scrumptious. I value our time together. (stuff like that)
How about, "you have a beautiful smile. I'd love to see it wrapped around my penis."?
CAN WE REALLY ASK FOR ANYTHING THAT OUR SPOUSES DON'T WANT TO GIVE?
It stinks to be the one wanting something in any relationship. You are immediately at a disadvantage, the other controls something you want.
In my case, I am a "seller", I have a vast piece of land full of forests, rivers, lakes, snowy peaks, golden rolling fields, succulent orchards, that I want my wife (hereafter referred to as "buyer") to buy.
I'll sell it to my buyer cheap, a fraction of what it's worth because I really want her to be the one to own it. Others are making much higher offers and shake their head when I refuse. "Is A-Man insane, or what? Why is he pursuing the woman that bought the "option to buy" 15 years ago but refuses to commit, refuses to accept this fertile land of resources and respect and care for it."
I'm getting too old to camp out on my ranch by myself. Maybe should start considering other offers.
Unfortunately, I think you're right on the money with that statement. Too many women, myself included, have been programmed to instinctively view sexuality with dirtiness, self gratification, invasiveness, shame, and degradation. Growing up female, you walk a fine line of finding a balance between being a good girl, being a fun girl-next-door, and being perceived as a slut. To top it all off the media shoves the *ideal* woman in our face as gorgeous supermodels, who tend to appear as "good girls" (and BTW it's hard for me to imagine them giving head!), and pornstars, who make alot us feel insecure, degraded and objectified...(who always seem to have a penis in their mouth!)... hopeless! 
Growing up trying to be the good girl it's rather challenging to find the right balance while feeling good about yourself and keeping your partner happy.
actually, from my nonverble H, that might even work 