From my experience from doing many things that were so wrong, I would say that the beginning of the sitch is very, very hard.
We can't really control the anxiety, depression, nervousness, we are hurt, angry and we want it all go away as fast as yesterday.
But, it does not go away, and it does not get resolved very fast. So, for each time you need to do or say something, take some time to think what you will accomplish with it, what are your goal doing something versus something else.
I also know it is easy to try your best to show up, but in a long run it does not help the situation all the time.
I made many mistakes when there were a lot of good advice to just let go and detach. Think and do things for yourself and your kids.
Believe me, I just hurt myself this way. Today, I am really thinking about enriching my life, take vacations with my kids and let my H do whatever he wants to do.
I want my space and my time to use it to take care after myself and become a person I admire and love.
In my sitch it became a pattern. every time I would let go, my H came crying, saying how much he loves me, then I would give in, make love, kiss, hug. After a nice time together, he would go again.
Finally I learned my lesson, and I know now that the only chance I have to recover my M is if I became stronger, happier and independent. The thing is, that as it gets better and I feel better, less I think I am dying without him.
It's not easy, but it get easier. You are the most important person for you, then comes your kids.
Hang in there, be patient and try to learn as much as you can.
