Been dreaming a lot of plane crashes again. Seeing the wreck in the French Alps doesn't help. I've actually had dreams of doing just exactly what that pilot did....plus I seem to be on the verge of tears a lot lately.
I really don't want to go on meds again, but think I may need them. I just wish I knew what happened. I was doing pretty well until a few months ago.
Thought it was all behind me. I guess not.
I feel ashamed...washed up...sad....done......
That..^^^^ is not good. At all. I know you dont like the thought of a therapist. I hated the thought myself....until I found the one who helped change my life. I went to four before I found her.
You have no choice here, Tad. How you are feeling is not good and it's not going to get better on its own.
I hated the thought of medicine, too. But I was sick and I needed help. It doesnt mean you have to be on them forever.
Tad, you still have a whole lot of life left to live...with your boys and maybe grandchildren one day. There's a whole lot out there in the world for you to experience.
You obviously need help in getting better. You cannot continue as you are. But you have to want to get it, Tad. You have to push yourself.
