Guide for LBH who has a Wayward Wife

[Mozza]

FWITW, Coach & Greek were not softies in their advice to others, especially whenever there was an A involved. I remember their advice to the LBS was to tell the WS they had two weeks to find another place to live! They each gave this same advice every time. Greek, (who had been a WAW) may have even been just a bit tougher on the WAS, than Coach.

I love this.

For years, I read romance novels and watched the movies that fed my desire to have that type of man in my life. I was unhappy in my MR and starved for passion, and so my mind went wild reading those novels.

Published this week in the journal Mass Communication and Society, the study suggests that the more stock people put in the as-seen-on-TV portrayals of relationships in their favorite shows, the less likely they are to be committed to their own relationship. If, for example, you place a lot of emotional weight on the fact that the characters in Burn Notice would take a bullet for one another because they are so very much in love, you may be more likely to question how happy you are with your significant other, who can’t even be relied on to clean up their own dishes in the sink, let alone leap in front of a terrorist’s gun to save your life.

I've been concerned about it because my WW is an avid reader of novels and a keen watcher of romantic movies and TV shows. I believe it had an impact on her decision to S. In fact, she quoted stuff like Sex and the city to explain what she expects from love.

So talk to us, men. What makes you weak in the knees at the thought of your W getting angry/upset? Be honest and spell it out.

I am not very fearful of that and my W is cordial and only got upset at me once since BD, so I have less to contribute. There were a few times where she was not happy with my decisions — no stroller dropping in my backyard, gotta take the kids on her birthday, can't see D7 in person on birthday — but I stood my ground and it never went further.

It seems normal human nature to expect people to deny us what we want when we upset them. In a couple, when your spouse is upset, she won't help you, she won't have sex with you, she won't go out of her way for you, she won't be warm, etc. So the reflex to avoid anger is normal... in a normal M.

I think the fundamental mistake of the LBS is to miss that the laws of physics have changed the day that the WAS announces his/her desire to separate. None of the previous tactics work and in fact they are counterproductive: I love you, being nice, making love, etc. The WAS has become someone who doesn't want to be loved by the LBS. It works like where you get romantic interest from a coworker, a friend, a stranger — anyone that you don't love in return. It's just unpleasant and unattractive.