FWITW, Coach & Greek were not softies in their advice to others, especially whenever there was an A involved. I remember their advice to the LBS was to tell the WS they had two weeks to find another place to live! They each gave this same advice every time. Greek, (who had been a WAW) may have even been just a bit tougher on the WAS, than Coach. Maybe it was just cause I liked her, IDK, but she didn't give slack to the WW. Some of you LBS's would have thought they were coming down too hard, but if only you would kick the fear and take as firm a stand, I think you would see better results.
They were much respected on the board, and I wished I could have met them in person. It is seldom that we have a WAS who is not in some type of A.
Cadet mentioned the imaginary OP. I did not have a specific imaginary OM, I went with whatever I was watching or reading at the time. I suppose you could classify me as a serial cheater in fictional affairs, b/c I sure did do a lot of it. For years, I read romance novels and watched the movies that fed my desire to have that type of man in my life. I was unhappy in my MR and starved for passion, and so my mind went wild reading those novels. This may sound silly to some of you men, but let me tell you, it can set the stage for other things. How can a woman respect and feel the loving, romantic emotions for her H if she's constantly comparing him to a fictional hero? The H will come up short every time, b/c of her mental attitude. I'm not saying the next time you see a woman sitting in a doctor's waiting room reading one of those books that she's prepping for an A........but you just never know what goes through a person's mind. I have not touched or looked at another romance novel since that year I became involved in an EA. I wouldn't even sell them in a garage sale. Threw them out with the trash.
Changing the subject back to why some LBS have an intense urge to tell the WS "ILY", I appreciate the responses. Perhaps there are some others who want to reply to the questions I asked.
In the meantime, I want to ask another question, especially to the men. Awhile back, I asked a similar question on one of the LBH's threads. It drew some really good answers. As a woman, it helped me understand better why they felt some of the fear they experience. With that in mind, I want to narrow it down a little more and ask why do some of the men "fear" their W getting angry? They'll do almost anything to keep her from getting into a bad mood.
Fear is the word I read in post after post from newcomer men. They fear their W's anger. Especially the really "nice guy" types fear upsetting the W, and will walk around on egg shells and tolerate her bad treatment rather than say or do anything that may possibly rile the "princess".
IMO, that is why she goes around ruling the kingdom and treating you as the boy who is in charge of dumping her chamber pot. See? Told ya, I use to read those books!
So talk to us, men. What makes you weak in the knees at the thought of your W getting angry/upset? Be honest and spell it out.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Threw them out with the trash. 
