Guide for LBH who has a Wayward Wife

[mahhhty]

Woah. This is really good information. Thank you Wonka, Starchy & Cadet. I greatly appreciate it!

In cases where there's no OW or OM, the game plan is this: GAL, do genuine 180s on some of the legitimate complaints from your WAS, use your ears MORE & validate when appropriate, and re-attract your WAS. It's as simple as that. You ask how? Be upbeat, light, breezy, and fun. No more Eyeore chit. Being confident and breezy is very, very attractive.

I have been implementing this, but I will now make this my entire playbook. Thank you Wonka!

Yea like it could be an imaginary one only in her head - like the character in a book, for instance.

Cadet - Over an 8 month period prior to leaving, I asked multiple times, she has always been consistent and stated no. However, this life event change has brought about a person I don't fully recognize. But I will continue to assume that she didn't lie to me.

What Greek says Coach did to win her back:

I will tell you what Coach did to win me back - after I left our home and filed for D. He stopped doing all the other things that got me to the point of walking out of the door. He stopped trying to arrange my reactions. He stopped trying to control what I would think or do. He stopped telling me how I should feel. He stopped telling me what would happen if... He dropped the rope and said WITH HIS ACTIONS: "Greek, I can see that you are hell bent on leaving for reasons that you have made abundantly clear to me. Some of those reasons have merit and I will deal with them for my own sake. But I can't keep you here and I won't try. The action I will take is to work on areas in my life that have contributed to the difficulties in our R and other R in my life; I will begin to take care of myself in a way I have neglected for some time now (GAL); I will handle protect myself against the legal action you took against our M; I will conduct myself with strength and honor." This was and is totally attractive! It's strong. It's confident. It's respectful - both of me and of Coach.

It's not about 'doing nothing.' It's about doing what works - putting the ACTION in the right place.

Greek

These two sound inspirational. I will find their posts and read up. Thank you Starsky!