When I say "I know she feels forced and stuck," these are my assumptions. She has not expressed those to me specifically, but to OM - expected there though. I have mentioned several times to her that these are my boundaries and it would be appreciated if she followed through with them, otherwise I feel disrespected. That I am not controlling her decisions, just the things I have control of. It is a matter of her selective hearing at that point, her choice. I did give her options. This specific one was "I am not going to feel like we are, or consider us, working on our marriage until he is blocked." If she were to refuse, then I would have suggested the blocking of internet again, and claim she can get it herself, computer - get her own, use her own money, the money I make for the family does not go to non-conducive activities. I am not going to support it. A no again, and fine. I would follow through and let her work her own destiny out, again.
Whether or not she actually wants to work on our M is up to her. If she is just going to tell me she wants to, go through the hoops just for herself to make her look OK with her family, but the entire time assume it is not going to work out with me, OK then. I do not want that, but if that is what happens, that is what happens. She can go, I am not holding her back, but she seems to know the implications. At least I can say I helped her save face with her family to a degree, maybe get her to realize lying to everyone is not an appropriate thing to do. She knows her family will not tolerate any of this, nor will they accept OM at all.
I am not going to force her to go to counselling, or anything she tells me she does not want to do, because I can not. I will just go on my own if she refuses, use it as IC for me then. See what the therapist says about the matter.
