Sandi & Wonka. I've done my best to employ LRT and the 37 Rules. I've done well in some areas and less in others. That is the price of learning and changing. Regardless, I am moving forward.
The above addresses a WAW with OM. What about a WAW without OM? How does the thinking change if at all?
Some of you may remember two very wise posters here -- wife and husband -- Greek and Coach. Sadly, we lost Coach over a year ago to a way-too-early death, but these two successfully pieced their marriage back together (with the help of God and of this DB community), and were kind enough to share much of their work here with us on the forum.
Greek did NOT have an affair -- she was a classic "Walkaway Wife." I found their approach interesting because even though there was no infidelity, it was still a very strong stance that Coach used (including a hardball legal stance) to re-attract the Greek.
I wish I would have saved more of their stuff (although I'm sure you can find it archived on here if you look), but I did save this in my own personal archives:
What Greek says Coach did to win her back:
I will tell you what Coach did to win me back - after I left our home and filed for D. He stopped doing all the other things that got me to the point of walking out of the door. He stopped trying to arrange my reactions. He stopped trying to control what I would think or do. He stopped telling me how I should feel. He stopped telling me what would happen if... He dropped the rope and said WITH HIS ACTIONS: "Greek, I can see that you are hell bent on leaving for reasons that you have made abundantly clear to me. Some of those reasons have merit and I will deal with them for my own sake. But I can't keep you here and I won't try. The action I will take is to work on areas in my life that have contributed to the difficulties in our R and other R in my life; I will begin to take care of myself in a way I have neglected for some time now (GAL); I will handle protect myself against the legal action you took against our M; I will conduct myself with strength and honor." This was and is totally attractive! It's strong. It's confident. It's respectful - both of me and of Coach.
It's not about 'doing nothing.' It's about doing what works - putting the ACTION in the right place.
