So, her telling me she wanted a divorce was an eye-opening and soul searching event for me. Its as if it made me do a 180 because I came to the realization that I didn't like what I had become and I don't want to be that anymore. One of the things that she has said is that she is afraid that I will revert back to the old ways. I hate those old ways - but, and partly due to that childhood of hers, she doesn't believe that I can change - in fact, her words yesterday when that topic was brought up was "I feel that he is making these changes because his back is pinned to the wall." What I wanted to tell her is that all of this made me see a lot of things in myself that I don't like and I am working on myself to become a better man.
This ^^^^ is good stuff. Why didn't you tell her this? I think it's something you should share with her, especially in a counseling type environment. In fact you could even precede it with something along the lines of validating her fear that you are just doing this because your back is pinned against the wall. I.e. "Wife, I do understand why you may feel that way, however this situation has caused me to look within myself and as a result I see a lot of things in myself that I don't like and I am working on myself to become a better man, Husband and father." Just my 2 cents.
