Confused & mix messages part 2

[Cherry]

Planning more GAL activities, getting back in touch with me.. Thinking what used to drive me.. What were my ambitions, what made me me.. And getting in touch with that. Enjoying some old hobbies, planning future activities, vacations, decorating, sticking motivational things to walls to keep me prompted and remember where I'm heading..
Been reading more DR, and excellent advise on here. Realising where I've gone wrong- this is gold I wish I knew before!!
Working hard on listening oh so carefully when he speaks. He previously has said he didn't feel he could talk to me as I couldn't handle difficult convos without getting upset (my 180s when we talk of being calm, listening, validating and letting him speak). He felt I had become negative, again a 180 on getting back to a positive carefree me.
I'm trying to listen carefully as he said I never listened to him.
He seemed reluctant in a way last night when I asked him about his day and tried to compliment where necessary (obv not going overboard). He seemed a bit reluctant to start, then actually opened up a touch more.
I need to stick with it, get level. Don't let his emotions control me. If he's in a mood- that may well have NOTHING to do with me. All I can be is that happy go lucky, confident bundle of fun that he was obsessed with and HAD to have.
And I will get there, I'm determined- and when I want something- I will move mountains