Has your H changed? Are they the changes you wanted? What have you done to make yourself happy? As I’m sure your aware that’s not H job.
Thanks JayTx, I have printed the article and will try to forgive. I certainly can/do hold a grudge (or several)! H has changed, in some ways what I wanted, in others not. He definitely pitches in more, but has not GAL, I'm a strong introvert and really need some space. I feel like the activities director, you know? Nothing gets done w/o my stamp of approval. I want a partner, not another child. As for making me happy, I try to do what I want, when I want. For a long time I tried to do what he seemed to want (or tried to not anger him, is more accurate, I guess).
Bravo61, thanks for responding. I do think that eventually that should happen. Right now, I need some breathing room. I did try to live "as if" and the feelings never followed, I got tired of the falseness and frankly didn't have the heart to continue it.
TenBook, your post made me angry, which must mean it strikes close to home. :-) I do tend to think, think, think about all the things I'd like to do. I need an action plan. And I think some more clearly defined boundaries. It seems hurtful to me to keep saying "stay away", but I guess D w/o trying it (one more time - which is what gets me - how many 'one more times' do I have to give it?!) is certainly more hurtful than that. No, he isn't physically restraining me, and as far as I know doesn't suspect A.
CaliGuy, yep, right on target; your whole post, his existence in my life, mere breathing... "This is where you are now, this is not where you need to live, this is not how you need to be, this is not who you want to be is it?" No, I so want to be believe it's possible to get out of this spot! Right now I can't imagine wanting H around, I want to, I just can't see it.
Thanks all for responding - I really appreciate your thoughts!
