Being deceived by WAW, in need of some coaching

[skr4luv]

Also lets say, I would stay and get the kids and ask W to leave.
I know she will move in with OM. That move will only enable her
A even more.
Basically she will get what she wants. She'll have me here,
taking care of the kids. While she can live with OM for free,
she has to pay him with pleasure. I read that a while ago on her phone.
Once that happens, I see no way of me wanting to reconcile with
her in the future, even if her R with OM fall apart and she comes back begging.

I'm having a hard time following your logic. Taking care of your kids is an extremely attractive quality. Running and leaving her to do it all will most likely foster resentment and anger at YOU, not to mention damage your relationship with your children. How does that help you if your goal is to save your marriage?

Yes, if you ask her to leave, she could move in with OM. You have no control over that. Your fear of what she MIGHT do is holding you back. These situations are very tough and it can take awhile to get there. However, living in fear is not really living. It's just reacting. You have to stop focusing on what she might do, and instead focus on what you need to do for yourself to be happy.

I feel like, once we separate and she moves in with OM,
I'm done with her. By that point it won't matter to me whether taking care of the kids will be attractive to her or not. I want
to take care of them because I love my kids and I want to
be there for them in this difficult situation. But I'm not sure if I can handle it right away, without a proper healing.
As you said I need to focus on myself to be happy.
I believe for me to be happy and move forward I need this time out to get back up.