Should i expose the affair, or?

[Ontheup]

Hey Swabby

I do agree with Starsky. You have to stop doing the pick me dance. Your wife has gone. She is not coming back by you pursuing, pleading, begging or whatever. Its natural to do that. Everyone says they wont but when it comes to it you do. You beg plead, demand anything to get her back. I did it for 6 months before I found out about the affair when my wife told me she was done and continued to do it after I found out! why? Why did I think so little of myself that I would beg a woman who has treated me like [censored] to come back to me? Don't get me wrong. I still miss her and entertain the idea of wanting her back still but NO WAY will I ever beg her or anyone ever again. It just shatters any self respect you have left. Your wife or any woman just sees that as pathetic. not attractive what so ever. Remember why your wife found you attractive in the 1st place, I bet it wasn't because you begged and pleaded her. I bet it was because you were funny, confident, interesting, cool..... yeah?
You don't have to give up on your marriage but you do need to find the man you were. what have you got to lose? you've already lost her. My sitch has become easier since I moved out and gave up the begging and pleading doing the pick me dance. I don't talk about our M, R her affair us nothing. I am friendly, confident, funny, and a great dad and im doing just fine living on my own. In the words of Robx and others "Let them go" let her have what she wants. She wants out, so let her have that. If she has it and then further down the line thinks "sh1t wtf have I done, I never really wanted this" then who knows you might be that cool interesting confident man that she first fell in love with and want to resolve the marriage if that's what you still want to do. If she doesn't and she continues her path then so be it. You will still be the cool confident man and you will meet someone else who thinks the same and wants you (yes you will). Its so hard, I know. Im going through it as well. Its hell but the most important thing to grasp is you cant control your wife. You can only control you. don't live in fear. You will be great with or without your wife.