I have not touched her accept when she hugs me before I leave to travel out of town. No sexual contact at all or even hand holding for almost 2 weeks. I have stopped texting her unless she texts me and my texts are brief and upbeat. Just trying to stay consistent as everyone here is recommending and doing my best to follow the 37 rules.
I'm sorry if I seem to be all over the place with my questions but this started as a WAW 7 months ago, looks like a MLC, and has twisted into the affair which I think is over (she says since mid DEC) . I'm in the blender and just trying to put together the pieces to help me understand how I got here so that I never fall into this again.
WW doesn't seem accurate for my sitch as she is still a very loving mother and is doing the best she can with the kids. She has stated that she is trying to figure out how to be in love with me again. However, she also states that the damage she has done she can't see how it will ever get any better and she has no idea how we are going to survive this....she seems very remorseful at times and the guilt seems to be eating at her.
By reaching out to her I mean send her a text and ask "how her day went", or "hope your having a nice day"
Its pointless to leave her a VM as she never picks it up and her VM is full. Its not just me though she does this to everyone.
As for the lies, she has always lied and I have confronted her thousands of times about the little lies or half truths. In my eyes she gives misleading information for some reason and always has. She just continues to makes excuses and says thats "thats not what I said" so she gets confrontational and we end up arguing. She says she is completely stressed out and walking on egg shells because I confront her about the lies even if they are little. I am trying keep our home a place where she feels safe and secure, can be herself, and none confrontational. Hopefully, this will allow her to open up to me and tell me how she really feels without feeling judged or criticized for her mistakes and we can begin to reconnect and communicate at a new level.
She has mentioned separation to relieve the stress but she continues to stay at home.
Yes I get it, this all takes time....7 months seems to me like eternity already.
I do feel like I am disconnecting emotionally and I'm getting better at GAL, Taking care of myself, have become a running manic, eating healthily, getting invisline, and trying to take up new hobbies and enjoying work. I see so many happy couples in the airports and across the country and wonder how in the world did I get to this place in my marriage. I love being married to my wife and really don't want anyone else. I made a covenant with God and her and its just very hard to think that this might be the end.
Any one have any experience with the lying or half-truths? Not just regarding the affair but life in General?
M44 H37 D13 S8 S6 Married 14 W is stay at home mom ILYBNIWY:9-28-14 A started 04/2014 OM confirm 11/24/2014 Admit PA 01/05/2015 09/11/2015 W file for D and wants the moon
