Can any wives check in on the complete loss of all desire to be intimate. To me this just seems very unhealthy for her to be feeling this way?
I want to shake you and tell you to listen! You are getting the vets, those who have experienced this, and even the wife who lost all desire to be intimate!
Yes, I had zero desire to be intimate with my H.
Next, you are going to ask how long was it before we had sex. You are not hearing us. You are jumping around firing questions, which is fine......if you'll hear what we are saying. We can't give you a specific time frame, b/c nobody can.
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but I'm trying to dial in on the true problem
I disagree. We have told you the true problem, but you won't accept it. You are really trying to dial in on an excuse. You didn't get an excuse from (at least three) vets, so you pass it over and are still looking for a short, time framed, magic answer. Your W turned wayward and had no excuse to do what she did.
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When is it ok of to start reach out to her?
Reaching out how? With physical affection? Sexual touching? I suggest you do not initiate any sexual touches as long as she's not wanting intimacy.
However, you can start with a few, light non-sexual touches. Keep your hands (or mouth) away from touching her hair, anywhere on her face, ears, neck, hands, boobs, and below the waist, except feet. In other words, don't touch her anywhere unless you would touch your grandma in the same place. And yes, there are other places left to touch a woman's body.
If you are referring to reaching out to her in another way, be more specific, please.
And btw, I do not think you should just look away, when you know she is lying. Has she always lied about little things? Why would you tolerate it? Why would you not call her out when she lies to you? If she is not held accountable for what she says and does, then what kind of MR do you expect to have presently, or in the future?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
