WAH - gone almost 1 year, still so hard.

[stacey9]

Oh my goodness Mozza, you've given me loads to think about!

Firstly, I'm not against dating at all, it's just that I still feel too vulnerable and raw to be in another relationship. I would much rather just have the handsome guy maybe take me out every now and then and end the night with a nice kiss. Nothing more. The thought of getting any closer than that scares me, as does letting another man into my home and my life. I know I could just take things slowly and see how it goes but I wouldn't want to lead him on.

You are right about my comfort zone, I sometimes don't like to wander far from it. But the invitations I now accept are to things I would never have considered a year ago. Also - my level of fitness is something I'm really proud of - I run about 25 miles a week now which is something I've never done before. But I know I need to do more to stop me obsessing about H's life.

And yes, deep down I do still hope he will realise he's made the biggest mistake in his life. Doesn't everyone here? If things with OW go sour he may remember our good happy times, who knows? I am not sitting around waiting for this to happen and it doesn't stop me getting on with my life.

I think I do cling to the past a bit, especially when big changes come along which I'm not quite ready for! I need to give myself a shake. Thanks so much again Mozza, you've given me loads to ponder!

Thanks for checking in too RPP, I always read your threads, and it sounds like you're doing great!

And Raliced - your H is moving closer to you while mine is moving further away!
In terms of the legalities - I think we may be close to an agreement and he'll finally be free of of paying the mortgage. We've both supplied all documentation required of us and my L is in the process of drawing up a proposed settlement. I am meeting with her on Wednesday. No matter what happens next he is going to be so much better off financially. And he knows it, which is why he's moving to such an affluent area. It feels like his life is on the up - new home, in love, financially secure etc etc. (please don't be too hard on me for saying this, its just how I feel tonight after hearing his news).
Stacey