WAH - gone almost 1 year, still so hard.

[Mozza]

Thanks for updating us stacey9. I always appreciate when people keep in touch.

You know what is the antidote to these blues, to these negative feelings about your H's new life?

Create your own.

Think about what excites you. Really: you now have permission. You've always envied people who dare to take a dance class? Guess what: anyone can do it and so can you. You'd like to play a new instrument? You want to spend a week-end alone on a beach? You want to go to movies every night for a week? You want to eat at the best restaurant in town? You want to wear a bright yellow dress? Attend a comedy show?

I don't care much what my W does because I'm having my own fun. This week-end, I'm going to a city I've been meaning to visit for years. In late July, I'm going to a 3-day music festival, which would have been almost impossible before S. Also, I'm flirting and meeting lots of people. All of these things excite me very much and make me focus on myself and not care as much what kind of fun my WW has. In fact, she moved in almost right away with OM so I suspect she'll be back to square one (routine, disagreements, etc.) while I'll be a happy single guy! Part of me is worried that she'll come back too early and I won't have had the time to do all that I meant to do while single!

It's not that I'm completely detached; in fact I was crying over my S about 15 minutes ago. But as I slowly detach, I try to see the world as a big playground. I ask myself what do I really, really like doing. How long since I've done it? Anything I meant to do but didn't dare? Sure, we can feel abandoned, but we're also freed. Isn't it also exciting? What are you doing with this new freedom?