I really wish I had learned to listen better. My wife is the absolute love of my wife. Had I learned "how" to listen, we wouldn't be here. But, at the same time, I also realize that not all the blame lies in me - her own issues also contributed to things.
You know, it took her to bring the "D" word until I realize just how bad things had gotten and how bad I was - I was a jerk about her sister. I really have been beating myself up a lot over this and quite honestly, I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror. I hurt the love of my life to the point of where she wants divorce. However, I try to put on the strong face and not let her see what I am feeling inside - part of adhering to those 37 rules, right?
She stays in the other room, but honestly she is very civil and quite nice sometimes. Well, now she is pissed about another of her mom's crazy episodes - which ya'll wouldn't believe if I told you. All of which just piled a whole bunch of stuff on top of everthing else, and makes that mountain I have to climb that much more difficult.
I have really been working on doing exactly what you have been saying. Not sure if I am starting to see a payoff, but she seems to be communicating more. Heck, even Saturday she called to tell me something funny that happened. That's a good sign, right?
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
