I wanted to interject and I usually refrain until I have read all the threads. I have read through your last four and will read the remaining ones by Wednesday.
So bearing that in mind, I agree you should stay in your home and W move out. You are the steady parent in this sitch. The non wayward one. I had not picked up in my quick read and in my notes if you had read No More Mr Nice Guy, but I believe you should do so, it was an eye opener for me.
MC is a very poor choice whilst there is an A or compulsive activity. Effective IC yes by the bucket loads, fantastic but MC is an excuse for a WW to say "I tried everything" in the hope that MC will agree the M is over. This can be an easy way to be let off the hook. So if it were me then I would say " MC only when your A is finished". I agree with Toots another go on the merry go round with that.
Your bed WW To lie in.
If WW wants a trip away with the teenagers her choice, knowing she has no license let her deal with it. Be firm, the boys could go if WW has proper transport arranged, please let her handle it. She has a DUI that is very serious stuff and no insurance. This is other than being an ah, in fact it is the reverse of that. It is letting WW make her decisions and implementing, it is stopping 'back control' which is passive control tactic. It is upfront, honest and has integrity. The reverse of your thinking, DB is counter intuitive!
You may want to consider your teenagers safety, although perhaps the older boys drive?
You may be aware that I fostered children, teenagers mainly. Your oldest S will be most likely aware of the truth already. The others are old enough to handle their R with their mother. Whilst I agree that lies are unnecessary, then please do not "truth" out to make a point with WW. A considered attitude of "dad is unhappy about the M sitch" and "your mum is making her own choices, it is not my place to say"., would cover it.
U-turn this is tough love, and hard to implement. I am sending you peace across the miles.
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 03/30/1509:38 AM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
