Is it really to late? Who knows....

[lost18]

Ok, feeling guilty because I ate so crappy this weekend and did not exercise at all. OK, I'll be easy on myself because I wasn't feeling very well today...but I didn't get a ton accomplished. I got my new desk set up and started going thru the all the "stuff!" That is one thing on my be a better you that I have not done very well...the getting organized. Baby steps!

H's friend left this morning, H was a little sad to see him go. He is not a very open/trusting person so does not have many close friends. Part of me was happy to see him laugh as much as they did this weekend, the other part of me wishes we would laugh like that together.

When they were out fishing he sent a couple of pictures to me, I always like it when he texts me and it isn't necessary. He has been doing a lot of drinking lately, but even more so this weekend with his buddy. The amount of drinking he does does bother me a little bit, not that he gets mean or out of control at all (sometimes a little annoying) but he has told me that the reason he drank was to "escape" me an S19 (when he was younger). That was always a big fight with us, I thought he was too hard, he thought I was too easy, I was overprotective, etc. He has also said he drank because he was stressed out about the future and how he was going to be able to support us because I didn't seem to care (something along those lines). Realistically I know it's his choice to drink and he can't really put that burden on me...but it's always in he back of my mind when he's drinking.

And of course I'm still hung up on his phone....he left it out when he went to bed last night, not that I have the password or have attempted to figure it out but I did look to see if there were any messages or anything....nothing. Tonight, I went out to the garage to ask him something and he was texting and started laughing. He walked over to me to talk and turned his phone so I could see it (not like here look, but casually)....he's never done that before, or maybe he is always texting OW....