I'm sorry you have found yourself in this situation. And I'm glad you found this site. Lots of wonderful folks are here to help you brainstorm solutions for healing your marriage.
My very first poster gave me the most excellent advice. He said the first duty of love is to listen. Grab every opportunity to listen to your wife and really hear her even when it's hard. Even when you have something you want to communicate to her. Put her first in that situation and really hear her.
Another thing is that these relationship talks when she is in leaving and complaining mode, sometimes take on a life of their own, with emotions going wild. You may start to get defensive--stop yourself. At the same time, stop yourself from begging and pleading.
And rather than get pulled into saying things you haven't had time to make a decision about---just say you've really appreciated that she has been willing to share her thoughts and feelings, and you want to take some time to let it sink in, and to really give what she said some thought. You can agree to get back with her at a given date (give yourself at least several days, depending on what she said).
She's going to say some things that will hurt or seem out of the blue. Hopefully this technique will help you to not be reactive.
May both of your hearts be open. Wishing you great success. You can do this. sg
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
