Confused 3

[Joe46]

This detaching is something I need to work on. I may have misunderstood it some. I was focusing on waiting for her to start conversations, being scarce, doing my own thing. I also believe I was focusing to much on my W being WW. I may have had a "what you are doing is wrong attitude". I just felt like if I acted like a friend to her, I was not standing up for my boundary. It wasn't until I read what Sandi wrote to someone else about detaching, that I thought I might be doing it wrong.

Something annoying from W that I would like to detach from. I am having a hard time thinking of something. The only real things she is doing now that annoy me are the type of job she is doing and the amount of hours she spends doing it. The fact that she can never ask for time off or do anything with the family. I guess you could say, I have been detaching from her not doing much with the kids or all of us. I have tried to find things for the kids and I to do together. I have focused more attention to them.

When W ignores me, I find something with kids to do. I listen to music at night. I enjoy movies. I read self help books.

It is hard to think about any other things that are annoying right now. This job has taken over her whole life. She rarely leaves the house. She sleeps all the time. When she is suppose to be off work, she spends the whole time in her room writing blogs for her characters. I never see her really. She eats dinner and heads to her room to nap so she can work.

D11 birthday is at the end of the month. A company we deal with for work has a show on her birthday. They put us up in a hotel and have dinner and swimming in hot springs. The whole family can go. D11 really wants to go. It is like a mini vacation and they love to swim. W is stressing now because she works that night. She refuses to ask for the night off. As a matter of fact, she never asks for time off. So she thinks we should not sign up to go. Also seems angry at me because I told her she needs to figure out what she wants to do. I told her I thought we could all go together.